- Discover Indonesia Online

You are currently in > Just a blog about Indonesia > Married with children

EINDHOVEN - Ever since my first experience with Indonesia, back in 1999, I also had the experience of being together with a woman. Itís not that I have had that experience before in my life, but being together with a woman here is totally different as being together with a woman in The Netherlands, and Iím not mentioning some form of a fixed relation like engagement or marriage. Hey, Iím still young, not yet okay?

This year along I have had some special encounters with people which thought that I was already a married man. But before I tell you about those encounters, itís probably a good thing to explain how it was. When I told a friend in Jakarta I wanted to go to Jogjakarta during my holiday, and I would like to have a guide with me for a few days, that wasnít a problem after all. She had a friend there which could help me out for sure.
The guide proved to be a woman as well, not a problem with me at all, and I didnít even think about the funny implications it would have later on. In the first place she would only guide me around in Jogja for about five days, and then I would go travelling again. At the end she proved to be a good friend, and I stayed in Jogja for two whole weeks. I also made a trip to Lombok with her as well, since she is an orang asli Lombok, and she didnít see her family for over one year by then.

We rented a (one) motorbike to have a trip around Jogja, first she drove, but within a few days I had learned how to handle one of those myself, and I got on driving as well. In fact it was as easy as possible. When she was driving, I was at the back, and when I was driving, she was at the back. My hotelroom sometimes served as a stop-over for toilet users, usually we were driving around with a group of people. Nothing more, and nothing less, but we were together, and the story really started.
The first few days the hotel staff seemed confused about me having a two person room using it alone. They figured out that one of the women waiting outside had to be mine. But what happened when I opened my room for a toilet-race? Strange to observe of course, but how come that they never asked me why I was offering those women a toilet? Why did it take so long to get back down again? Ooh, thatís Indonesian, between going to the toilet and getting outside again, is some time for a short rest. When going out, it was common that I walked down with my Ďguideí, Cabe. I dropped the key at the desk and went outside again. The guy at the desk smiling at me.
This went on for quite some time. Shopping together gave some strange faces in the local Jogja supermarket, for example the small supermarket on the campus of Universitas Gajah Mada. They are not used to tourists, and especially not to one with a Ďwifeí. Itís funny to me, most of the times, but I suspect there is happening more than I can see. Even worse, I know not all I see is good. Some guys on Jalan Malioboro seem to carry hatred against everything that is not theirs. They talk to Cabe, and she doesnít want to take notice of it. I always told my friends just to tell me what they say, so I know it as well. If they go too far, I will not hesitate to tell them how it really is. Upto now, I havenít heard a translation yet, too bad. Itís time for me to learn some Indonesian I guess.

With going to Lombok, I offered Cabe the opportunity to go to her family again. Because sheís a student, she could not go back home, since travelling either takes too long, or it soo expensife. That problem was solved when I offered her to bring me there with her as my guide. That was a good deal, but I knew rules what concerned relationships were a little bit different Ďat homeí than far away in Jogja. She first asked if it was okay that I came with her to Lombok, because if it wasnít okay, we could not go together. That seemed less of a problem than I thought, so we could travel to Lombok together.
On entering the plane Cabe was already in front of me, looking for her seat. I wanted to take a free newspaper (little bit of Dutch inside of me), before I setteled down for the one hour flight. There were no foreign newspaper, as the steward told me in Indonesian.
"Ooh, I just look at the pictures", my reply was.
"Aah, for your wife", was the reply of the steward I didnít expect. I smiled at the guy and grabbed a Kompas, to have a look at the images, and to hand the business section to Cabe, because I wasnít interested in that part, and I still wanted to give her a part of my newspaper. After I was finished, she could have the front part of it as well. Hehe... I really didnít expect the steward to make that remark, on the other hand I should have seen it coming, I admit.
These funny things continued on Lombok, but since the family already knew I was Ďjust a friend from Hollandí, no questions were asked about how we were together or things like that. Itís mainly the reactions you get from people that donít know us. The policeman on Lombok wanted to know where I was from, when he noticed me sitting at the back. "Ooh,... Belanda", was all he had to say in the time he checked the registration card of the motorbike and the drivers licence.
The staff at MacDonalds sometimes gets confused as well. I want to order a MacFlurry as quick as possible, because thatís all I need. When finished, the guy asked me if my wife wants to order anything as well. A simple Ďnoí does it, strange enough itís much more easy just to say no as a reply on a question which is wrong in the beginning, than explaining how it really is. I used to explain that the woman with me was not my wife, but I stopped doing that after two times of holiday. From now on all women who are travelling with me together, are my wife, for as short as the time may be.

During my previous holidays, for example last year on Bali, I had similar experiences. Last year I was on Bali with my then girlfriend (Dutch as well), and the hotel staff assumed that we were married already. They adressed us as husband and wife, and I explained my girlfriend how it worked in here, and also told her that we could just leave it like this, because it wouldnít matter if we told then we werenít married, they would stick with their first opinion anyway. That was as true as possible.
When I ordered a sandwitch, I was always asked if my wife wanted another one, or maybe a drink (they are still hotel staff, trained to sell their drinks of course). Usually I ordered one sandwitch (they were big) and two drinks, one for me and one for my wife. Too bad sheís not my girlfriend anymore, because memories like these are wonderfull. But well, life goes on, and so do I.

Other memories are in Jakarta, walking in shopping malls, taking a taxi, whatever I did. Always the people looked at us, almost their mouth open, but not daring to ask whether we are married or not. You can see them thinking, and usually I just give a smile at the driver when getting out. I open the door for my Ďwifeí as well, polite as I am. For the taxi-driver, his main question is answerred, I made someone happy again, and with a smile I can think of dozens of these funny experiences. Experiences that are a part of Indonesia for me, experiences that I love to have when Iím in Indonesia.

And now... now I want to go back again!

Posted in Culture @ 21 September 2003 by Jeroen · 'Blog' RSS feed · permalink

There are no reactions on this blog entry yet. Be the first one to give a reaction here!

Log in to write a reaction

You are not logged in to the website. You have to be logged in to write a reaction on this blog entry.

· If you already have an account, please login.
· If you have lost your password, please retrieve it.
· If you don't have an account yet, you can create one.

Add this blog entry to your email, your own blog, MySpace, Facebook, or whatsoever via AddThis:
Bookmark and Share

e-mail updates for this blog article

Login if you want to receive emails for reactions on this blog entry. You will receive an update as soon as a reaction on this blog entry is posted.

Your website for tickets in Indonesia!
Looking for e-tickets for flights in Indonesia? Here's your solution! Order your e-tickets at
· 2015, 28 entries
· 2014, 591 entries
· 2013, 750 entries
· 2012, 1061 entries
· 2011, 792 entries
· 2010, 644 entries
· 2009, 916 entries
· 2008, 504 entries
· 2007, 725 entries
· 2006, 1014 entries
· 2005, 723 entries
· 2004, 558 entries
· 2003, 525 entries
· 2002, 375 entries
· 2001, 162 entries
· gigolo
· jakarta
· blogger
Automatically generated every hour
· General (1205 entries)
· Economy (643 entries)
· Politics (574 entries)
· Accidents (561 entries)
· Terrorism (541 entries)
· Earthquake (539 entries)
· Volcanoes (387 entries)
· Crime (357 entries)
· Corruption (349 entries)
· Flooding (278 entries)
· Elections (276 entries)
· Travel (268 entries)
· Bird Flu (254 entries)
· Religion (242 entries)
· Tourism (239 entries)
· Oddly enough ... (219 entries)
· Violence (198 entries)
· Drugs (196 entries)
· Health (192 entries)
· Aceh conflict (191 entries)
· Environment (185 entries)
· Weather (171 entries)
· Military (168 entries)
· Protests (157 entries)
· Culture (106 entries)
· Garuda Indonesia (91 entries)
· C. Sulawesi conflict (86 entries)
· Human rights (82 entries)
· Forest fires (78 entries)
· Sidoarjo mudflow (71 entries)
· Power supply (64 entries)
· Ramadan (63 entries)
· PT Freeport (55 entries)
· Picture guess (48 entries)
· Maluku conflict (47 entries)
· Dengue Fever (37 entries)
· History (37 entries)
· Infrastructure (36 entries)
· Polio (35 entries)
· Mexican flu (35 entries)
· Website (25 entries)
· Media (22 entries)
· Nuclear power (21 entries)
· Sports (20 entries)
· Sexy (16 entries)
· SARS (15 entries)
· Nightlife (10 entries)
· Others (5 entries)
· Lippo Cikarang (5 entries)
· Close smallest categories
EUR-IDR: 16,590 · 16,620  The Rupiah rate declined since yesterday
@ 17 May 2018 18:12 CET
JPY-IDR: 126.83 · 126.95  The Rupiah rate improved since yesterday
@ 17 May 2018 21:58 CET
MYR-IDR: 3,545 · 3,549  The Rupiah rate declined since yesterday
@ 15 May 2018 08:42 CET
SGD-IDR: 10,479 · 10,501  The Rupiah rate declined since yesterday
@ 07 May 2018 07:48 CET
THB-IDR: 439.14 · 439.41  The Rupiah rate declined since yesterday
@ 16 May 2018 09:18 CET
USD-IDR: 14,097 · 14,157  The Rupiah rate declined since yesterday
@ 17 May 2018 00:46 CET
Go to 'exchange rates' 
·  At 14 July 2020 08:32 newnight reacted on Three more bodies of AirAsia victims to Surabaya hospital
·  At 20 September 2018 06:54 erik12 reacted on Fuel prices lowered, again
·  At 19 October 2015 17:17 imambudianto5 reacted on Bank Indonesia maintains benchmark interest rate at 7.75%
·  At 04 March 2015 19:18 merdekaSah reacted on Alleged terrorists shot dead three villagers in Poso
·  At 04 March 2015 13:11 Yogya-Bali reacted on Alleged terrorists shot dead three villagers in Poso
·  At 26 February 2015 13:02 Irena reacted on Sexy, a young woman with candy
·  At 08 May 2014 09:51 jstar reacted on No alcohol should be sold in warung
·  At 01 May 2014 10:07 jstar reacted on Indonesia to be among the top 10 peacekeeping contributors
·  At 27 March 2014 05:50 harlys reacted on PPP leader voices concern over Islamic parties' future
·  At 10 March 2014 06:11 Yogya-Bali reacted on Sriwijaya Air leaves behind 200 passengers at airport
·  At 09 March 2014 00:11 Yerun reacted on Sriwijaya Air leaves behind 200 passengers at airport
·  At 08 March 2014 20:33 nicknick reacted on Sriwijaya Air leaves behind 200 passengers at airport
·  At 18 February 2014 04:17 Yerun reacted on Ash from Mount Kelud eruption spreads over all of Java
·  At 16 February 2014 05:41 Amed East Bali reacted on Ash from Mount Kelud eruption spreads over all of Java
·  At 14 February 2014 22:27 Anne Mieke reacted on Asylum seekers in Medan wish to be sent to Australia
·  At 14 February 2014 22:22 beritaislam reacted on Asylum seekers in Medan wish to be sent to Australia
·  At 16 January 2014 15:37 Anne Mieke reacted on Landslides cut off Tomohon-Manado road
·  At 16 January 2014 15:21 Yerun reacted on Landslides cut off Tomohon-Manado road
·  At 16 January 2014 15:05 Anne Mieke reacted on Landslides cut off Tomohon-Manado road
·  At 16 January 2014 14:48 Yerun reacted on Landslides cut off Tomohon-Manado road
Go to 'forum topics' 

Created by · feedback & contact · © 2000-2020
Other websites by · · ·

Valid HTML 4.01 Transitional 140,529,376 pageviews Discover Indonesia Online at